I write you letters that I don't send. Sometimes I don't bother finishing them and I just draw all over the bottom half of the paper. I think about mailing it anyway, but I don't want you to see my scribblings. I've never seen anything that you've drawn. I've only barely seen your handwriting.
Does writing this help? Is it better that I get it out somewhere, even if it isn't to you? I wanted to write a zine called "_(my name)_ loves _(your name)_" and then send it to you. But that's creepy and stalkery and WHY DID YOU TELL ME NOT TO GIVE UP ON YOU?

Why is that what I keep thinking about?
Why did I let myself have hope?

"Everyone leaves me," I said, and you rolled your eyes.
But you did it too.