I can't lie and say that I don't miss you. I'd like to say I am glad you're not around me anymore. But I'm not. I was happy to let you walk all over me and I'm not sure why. I don't know why I let you control the way everything happened. Maybe because you wouldn't give me any control at all. I had no choice. It was your way or nothing.

That is very clear now. Every time I tried to do things my way, I got shot down. Now you're gone. You said "please leave me alone" and I have, but I would rather be in your bed, in your arms, asleep right now.

I thought about you touching my face and calling me "cutie." I thought about you telling me that I looked handsome. I am confused by your tenderness and subsequent coldness. Are you two people? Three? More?
I want to meet someone like you were when we were alone, but I'd like for that person to exist all the time and not just when only I'm watching.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I have to remind myself of that.

I didn't do anything wrong.

And I can't take anything back.