I want your hungry hands to devour me piece by bloody piece.

Why this sudden resurgeance of feeling? Is this the itching of a healing wound? Am I purging you? Please leave me. Get out of my heart.

I can't stop replaying these memories of you. Stupid shit like the first text you sent me. How nervous I was sitting with you. Your goddamn voice. Your hands.

I look for you in everyone I meet.

There is a thing inside you that is much bigger than you let on. I feel the strain of it constantly. Your eyes are cold and larger than they appear. You are so still. Despite all your movements you keep your hard shell intact. Your insides ricochet with memories. You don't let them out. You can't let down your guard. It's exhausting.
That's why you spend your time alone. That's why you read so many books. I could see inside of you and knew more than I let you know. I could see you and I loved you and it scared you.
But I trusted you. I sat on your kitchen floor and told you so. You loved me, you do love me, but that's a feeling that's been tossed inside with all the others. You can't recognize it now that I'm not around. You filed that away for later. But for you, later becomes never.
Will you live your life with all of this unrecognized? I love you. I love you so much that my heart still hurts with it. In my mind I see you reading at your window. In my mind I see you fucking other women. In my mind I see you keep yourself so empty. Those empty eyes. bigger on the inside. Hidden from everyone, but mostly from you.
I still feel you.
Help me take this all away.
Please just let me go.

well it's been a long time, long time now
since I've seen you smile.

I want to write you a letter. Pretty sure that would only guarantee your continued silence. I miss you. I just want to tell you what you meant to me. and I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss I miss I miss.
You.