I miss the taste of your skin and your slick sweat beneath my fingertips. I miss your warmth and heartbeat and the expansion of your lungs.

I think I make myself miss you. I think I'm trying to understand.

I can't stop thinking about you breathing.

It seems wrong that we don't say 'I love you' anymore. It seems wrong that we're not together.

It's in these moments of panic that I need you the most. And you are no longer here.

This just doesn't feel like something you would do.

Today would be a lot more fun if you were here.

Miss you so much. Always thinking about you. This is so fucking stupid.

First friday night alone in my bed since february.

I miss you. This is wrong.

Twisting my guts. I miss you. Empty. Numb in between crying. Numb and deeply, deeply sad.

Miss you. Miss you so much.

I want to say that I hate you but it would be a lie. I just want you to change your mind. come back to me. I hope you think this over and I hear from you again. not now. You have a lot of growing up to do. but in a few months. I can see us happy together. I don't know why you can't.